All Stopped Up

Today, it seems,
my whole being has been
overtaken
by a heaviness
an unbearable pressure.

My face feels
puffy
bloated
but the mirror shows
no trace of such
discomfort.

I have been here before.
Emotional Constipation.
My mind and body
have been on the
precipice
of a complete
emotional
break
down.

But the tears
won’t
come.

Instead
I lay in the dark,
wrapped in blankets
and silence.
I can’t bear to do
anything else.
I observe myself
and let my thoughts
ebb and flow
as they will,
slipping in and out of
Dream State.

I know myself.
I know that it is in
the place in between
that the knotted up mess
of yarn and cord,
my unorganized thoughts and
frayed emotions,
are carefully
picked apart
untangled
soothed and made sense of
by nimble faerie fingers
so that my mind
my psyche
may flow unhindered
once again.

And so I dream
until the moment
that my tears
may fall freely
and I am released
from this confounding
Constipation.

(I’m including a little something extra with this blog post, because as I write about this subject I can’t help thinking about this classic song. As I share my feelings of grief, I want to share the laughs, too. Enjoy.)
Screamin’ Jay Hawkins — Constipation Blues

© 2015 Amber Rhapsody Jet & gemstonerhapsody.wordpress.com

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